In? Not out? Yup, just in, like inside yourself. Sometimes it's not about coming out with a revalation about yourself, but coming in to yourself to discover something new, someone new who was there but you didn't know until events and circumstances opened the door. And you're still saying "Huh?" Well, there are three types of exploration, climbing, hiking and spelunking. It applies to your adventures in the world as well as your adventures into your soul. Your spirit is your backpack, your conscience your map, and your conscious your compass.
And that is what I'm doing, wandering inward. And sometimes it gets you into the dark depths of yourself, the deep wells within your soul, where darkness is the only light you know, where thinking merges into feeling, and thought into emotion. In October, I didn't go entirely into the deepest depth, just enough, I've been there before and know the signs and symptoms. By November I was back, coming back into the light of the day and world, and by Christmas I was back to where I was two-plus months ago.
So what did I find? You don't find anything, you discover. I'm a Taoist, so looking is part of the process of life. In looking you see, and seeing interacts with your conscious and subconscious to discover new thoughts and feelings, which merge into an intuition, and begins part of the whole being. When you look inward, into the darkness, the seeing returns to our imgination and intuition. Darkness becomes light, light becomes thought and feeling, and becomes new consciousness.
And? Nothing really. Sometimes it's just an exploration where you end up where you started refreshed and relaxed, knowing you had an experience, not good or bad, just there, a part of your life and being. Sometimes it just is and you go on. Not better or worse, just different.
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